


Step One

by th_orbruce (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Established Relationship, King Thor (Marvel), M/M, he's on a diplomatic trip and bruce misses him sm, i just wrote all of it in one sitting, i'm not going to read over this before i post it, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 05:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15018071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/th_orbruce
Summary: Bruce wanted to surprise Thor while he was on a diplomatic trip. It gets complicated.





	Step One

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so tired have this trash fbgbjgfjdn

“Do you really miss Thor so much that you’re willing to go to another  _ planet _ ?” Tony’s voice made the question seem as though the answer was obvious, that Bruce would laugh and play it off as a joke, but his silence was an answer in itself, and an entirely different one at that. “Bruce! What are you thinking?” He sighed and put his head in his hands dramatically. “ _Another planet?” _

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“I want to surprise him.”

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“So, you speak!” Bruce rolled his eyes and turned back to his suitcase. “No, seriously,” Tony said, probably realizing that he should probably be supporting his best friend’s ‘escapade’, “another planet?” 

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Bruce groaned.

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✩

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Honestly, he should have listened. The trip was boring, he didn’t bring enough books to read, he forgot to pack an entire section of his lab notes, and he couldn’t call Thor because 1. it turns out there was no cell service in space, and 2. Thor would know that he was on his way to Hi’lea to visit him. But he made it, and at the end of the trip, even though he was suffering from some serious jet lag, he was glad that he was there. However, there was one snag.

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He didn’t know how to find his boyfriend. 

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After calling Brunnhilde, like, seven times, he finally had an answer. Apparently, one of Thor’s close childhood friends was Hi’lean, and knew his way around the capital city very well. All Bruce had to do was meet with him, convince him that he was dating the god of thunder/king of  Asgard/very beautiful man, and get directions to Thor’s room. Easy. 

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-ier said than done. Bruce only knew that the man was named “Vits” and that he was always at The Anagn, a tavern near one of the entrances to the catacombs that wove beneath the city. After waiting at the bar for what felt like hours, the bartender pointed to the door subtly, and Bruce caught a glimpse of his temporary guide. Vits was tall, with long purple hair that was pulled away from his gaunt face in a few loose braids. Bruce felt a shiver run down his spine, a vague sense of déjà vu settling low in his stomach. The Hi’lean looked eerily similar to Loki, especially with the way his (leather?) cape settled over his shoulders as though it had been worn for years on end. They made eye contact instantly, and some sort of communication passed between them, Vits’s head tilting imperceptibly to his left, towards a side door. He changed direction with flair, one braid falling out as he swung his head in the direction he was heading. Bruce jumped off of the barstool, thanking the bartender profusely as he practically sprinted away. 

__

Vits was just outside of the door, leaning against a dumpster with an entire bottle of rum in hand. “Bruce Banner,” he drawled as soon as the door shut behind the scientist, “I’ve been waiting for you.”

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“I’ve actually been the one waiting for you.” Vits grinned and stood up straight, reaching out with his free hand to shake Bruce’s. 

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“I know, I’ve just always wanted to say that.” Feeling slightly less uneasy at Vits’s attitude, Bruce allowed himself to smile back. “So, how’s Thor doing? Are you guys married yet?” 

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And the uneasiness was back. Thanks, Vits. “No, but I was planning on proposing soon,” he admitted sheepishly, willing to do anything to shorten this conversation, even reveal something that he had only started to think about seriously in the past few weeks that Thor was gone. 

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Vits hummed in acknowledgement, looking down at his nails. “Don’t. Thor’s been planning his proposal for _ever_. You’ll love it, I’m sure.”

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“I- okay.” There was sincerity in his voice, but Bruce couldn’t help but notice the sly smile on the Hi’lean’s face. Something didn’t feel right. “Brunnhilde told me you know where he’s staying?”

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“Oh, yeah.” He scoffed and pulled the label off of the bottle of rum, handing it over to Bruce with a wink. “Directions are on the other side.” Bruce flipped over the label, revealing nothing except a blank canvas. 

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“Uh, Vits-” he started, but was interrupted by hands reaching for the label back. 

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“Sorry, wrong one.” He set the bottle down and reached into a pocket that Bruce hadn’t noticed before, pulling out a bottle of clear liquid and appraising it before yanking that label off too. He swore under his breath as he set the second bottle down, reaching into another pocket and retrieving yet another bottle, this liquid shimmering gold in color. “Aha!” He mumbled, peeling of the label and giving it to Bruce with a grin. “Those are the directions. Follow them exactly, and you’ll be in Thor’s beefy arms in no time. Peace.” Smoke enveloped Bruce for a split second, then the air around him was clear, and Vits was gone.  _ That was a bit dramatic,  _ Bruce thought to himself, looking back down at the label. The lettering was sloppy but defined, the seven words at the top underlined three times. 

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**_ONLY WAY TO ARRIVE AT ROYAL SUITE_ **

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Bruce gulped, eyeing the extensive directions below it warily. They were written by the same hand but in the format of a list. 

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**1\. in front of you there is a ladder. climb it.**

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He huffed out a sigh and read the first line of the scribbled directions again. Glancing up, he eyed the rickety ladder cautiously.  _ Here goes nothing,  _ he thought, reaching for the first rung. After crossing the roof he arrived at and climbing through a window, he found himself in the middle of a party. Multi-colored lights strobed around him as he pushed his way through the crowd, finding the kitchen with very little stress, despite being grinded (ground?) on, like, five times.

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**4\. find cookbook labeled ‘cooking 4 dummies’. pull on it gently.**

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Despite knowing that the directions went on for another thirty-one steps, he felt his heart race.  _ This could be it. _ He pulled on the book and the wall slid to the side, revealing some sort of VIP room. A bouncer popped bubble gum in Bruce’s face expectantly. He glanced at step five, then back up to the bouncer. “Akeli, Vits says hi.” The bouncer- Akeli- smiled and stepped away, waving Bruce inside.

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**6\. follow akeli.**

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Bruce did. They ended up at a closed doorway, where Akeli turned around and, Bruce assumed, went back to his bouncer duties. He opened the door and went down a small ladder, hopping off of the last few rungs into what looked like the sound booth of a high school auditorium. He got mild flashbacks to his high school’s production of Peter Pan, but brushed them off, thinking of reaching Thor as quickly as possible. He went down to the stage and pushed a curtain aside to reveal a wooden door, opening it with ease.

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**12\. climb ladder in closet. enter attic.**

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He pushed aside spiderwebs as he went up rung by rung, then blindly walked around in the cramped attic until he found the sole sindow. It was small, but he found a way to get onto the fire escape through it, the entire time wondering how practical it was for there to be a fire escape there in the first place.  _ Surely not everyone can fit through that tiny ass window, _ he thought,  _ unless fires act as natural selection. Yikes. _ He shivered despite the hot air and looked back down at the list.

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**15\. get on fire escape to the left, climb higher.**

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Wait, he had to  _ change _ fire escapes now? How was he supposed to get over there? After stressing about it for a few minutes, he decided to climb to the roof and go down onto the fire escape that was adjacent to the one that he was already on.  _ God, how is anyone able to reach this room? _ He then realized that the next step instructed for him to get on the roof. The same roof that both of the fire escapes connected to. Why did he have to change fire escapes if he was just going to end up at the same place either way? He pushed the thought away, deciding to continue trusting Vits. A short while later, he was on a roof three buildings away, climbing through yet another window into yet another party.

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**19\. third door on right is a coat closet. trapdoor under shoe rack.**

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He pulled the door open with a grimace, two couples falling out on top of each other with the action.  _ Gross. _ He shook his head and pulled the shoe rack to the side, revealing the wooden trapdoor. After going down another ladder, he ended up in what he recognized as a section of the catacombs. The second path on his right was well lit, and he followed it until he found what he was looking for: a grate. He pulled on a loose bar and it swung open like a vault, the very subtle hinges creaking in the semi-darkness. Immediately inside was a ladder, and after climbing it, he found himself in a laundry room of some kind.

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**24\. climb stairs to second floor. turn left in hall. find room 263.**

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He found the room with no issue, including the key stashed on the top of the doorframe, and walked in quietly.  _ For all I know, someone could be renting this room.  _ After crossing the apartment to get to another fucking fire escape, he was near the end of his rope. He  vowed to keep going, though. Thor was worth it. He reached the roof, breathing a bit heavily. He braced himself and mentally prepared to continue ‘Spider-Manning’ his way around the city.

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**32\. reach second floor balcony. knock on window three times, and be patient.**

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He wasn’t there for long, but he had literally nothing better to do, so he was bored as shit as he waited for the tenant to open up. Before long, she did, dressed in a long gown and smiling warmly at him. “Closet’s over there.” He grinned and yanked the trapdoor open, realizing that he was dangerously near the end of the directions. Only a minute or so later, he dropped onto the floor of a very fancy bathroom, looking for more instructions. But there was only one left.

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**35\. go get your man!**

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That was the easiest part of the directions. He opened the bathroom door quietly and padded into the bedroom of the suite. Thor was on the bed, his nose in one of Bruce’s books. Bruce just stood there for a moment, savoring it as long as it lasted, before running and jumping onto the bed next to Thor. 

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“Bruce!” Thor exclaimed, laying the book down and pulling his boyfriend into a hug, despite the dirt and alcohol that Bruce had somehow gotten covered in. “How did you arrive?”

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He didn’t answer, just smiling and pressing a kiss to Thor’s lips, immediately making both of them forget about Bruce’s experience with space travel. Thor’s arms were holding him so close that he could physically feel the longing in them, but they were still so gentle despite the tight grip. After a long while of just sitting next to each other and enjoying the simple company, Bruce broke the comfortable silence. “God, that took so long,” he confessed, pressing a gentle kiss to Thor’s shoulder.  

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“I can talk to management about letting you into the lobby more easily, now that I know you’re here,” he offered in response. 

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“Lobby?” Bruce started to pull away. Out of all thirty-five steps, a lobby wasn’t included once.  

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But Thor looked more confused than Bruce felt. “How did you get in, then?” 

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Bruce pulled the label from his pocket and passed it over, watching Thor’s face as he read the signature at the bottom. His face morphed into a sly grin, one that was almost identical to the one that Bruce had seen on Vits just a short while before.

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Thor hummed as he gave the paper back. “So, you asked Vits?”

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“Brunnhilde said that he knew you very well.” Bruce was starting to get confused by Thor’s expression, like he was on the outside of a joke. 

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“We were friends as children, though I know he always preferred Loki to myself,” Thor admitted, a nostalgic look deep in his eyes.

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“I’m glad I met with him,” Bruce said, bringing his hand up to rub circles on one of Thor’s shoulder blades. “He was the only person who knew how to get here.”

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Thor pulled away in confusion and pointed to a large wooden door near one corner of the room. “That door leads to the street.”

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Bruce let his head fall into his hands as a groan escaped his lips. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

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**Author's Note:**

> sometimes i have a dream where i have to go through a very complicated series of places to reach a destination (exactly like this lol) so one day i woke up and was like "hmmmmmmmmm"  
> sorry it sucks but on the off chance you like it maybe consider popping by my [blog](https://hulkdefensesquad.tumblr.com) i talk about shit i'm writing all of the time


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